Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
