i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
