this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
