help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think my moral compass just broke
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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