What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
