im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize