This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
