How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
