Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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