Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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