walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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