dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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