We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
