Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I love having hate sex.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
