I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
