I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
