the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
