I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize