we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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