haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
