would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So vagazzling was a success
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
