I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
