Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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