I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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