his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
