I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
