Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
