Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
