hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
