I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
not ubering you a puppy
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
