My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
