Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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