My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
