whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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