I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
