not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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