If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We have started to decorate penises.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
