the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We had sex on a dog bed..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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