Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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