I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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