Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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