Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
