I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
