Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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