VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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