You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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