I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
