i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im six kinds of drunk right now
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
