i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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