So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
