Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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