just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
