Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
