My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
