Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you had me at cake vodka
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
