Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
