its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
