THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
