He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
