and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
