I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
