so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
