Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
