Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
